My Yoni Story
5 years ago Yoni woke me up.
I was in a fun and wonderful partnership, and I was having great sex. I was feeling alive and in my body. And I was moving and dancing and laughing. I’m sure Yoni knew this was a great time for inspiration to strike.
And strike she did. I woke up one morning turned on with her whispering in my ear.
“Make a lube” she said.
“Really?” I said. “A lube?”
“Yes, a lube” she said, and she gave me all of the ingredients.
I know. Weird. But what partner is going to protest you making lube? And so I did.
It was exciting, and I was conflicted. What happens in the bedroom should stay in the bedroom, right?
So when I started telling people what I was working on, I found I was whispering. Hmmm. I guess I still had a lot of programming around sex and my body, especially my yoni.
Apparently I take a long time to wake up. It’s okay. We all do. But I will say this for me, I do keep plugging away. I do keep opening the doors.
I’m a homeopath because I opened the door of vaccine damage for my son. Homeopathy also opened the door to healing my own autoimmune dis~ease.
I opened the door to emotional and spiritual healing as I began to unravel the damage to my marriage through sex and pornography addiction. I wanted to untangle the mess of that. I knew somehow that something in me brought that experience to me.
I dug deep. I asked questions. Of myself. Of my relations. And the answers came because I asked. It made sense to me why I didn’t remember much of my childhood. It made sense to me why I checked out. It made sense to me why I had been open to sexual trauma from a pastor in the church I served in. It made sense why I was almost raped in college.
I checked out. But to check out is to die a slow death.
Good thing I caught it. Of course I didn’t want to die. I wanted to LIVE.
And I want to live a life of joy, freedom, fun and passion. I want to live a life of exuberance, inspiration, sensuality and satisfaction.
Yoni knew that. And she’s bade her time. Because as far as she’s concerned there is only time.
So she let me heal and get my bearings. She let me ground myself and raise a son.
And then she called.
“Make a lube.” she said.
“Make a healing lube. A lube that speaks to our grief. A lube that can release us from that grief. A lube that allows us to allow. A lube that speaks to our sensitivities. Heals our irritations. Allows us to be touched again.”
And so I did.
Yoni calls me still. I think she’s the unending caller!
“Sink into pleasure” she tempts.
“Live from your orgasm” she cajoles.
“Turn on “ she coaxes.
“Wake up” she implores.
I find that when I listen to her it frees me to be me. I find that it makes me happy, and joyful and maybe a bit more fun.
That’s my Yoni story.