And Start A Love Affair With Yourself
Yoni is sanskrit for vulva, womb or generally the female genitalia. It’s a complex system filled with 8000 nerve endings, some 5000 more than men have. That doesn’t mean we are better than men (wink, wink), it does however mean that there is a complexity there that we are only beginning to tap the surface of. Each woman is wired differently. Each woman has sensitivities in different areas. We are like snowflakes.
Naomi Wolf in her book Vagina has indicated that science is beginning to discover that women’s brains and vaginae are connected. A well pleasured yoni bathes the brain in dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, and according to an article in Psychology Today helps regulate movement and emotional responses, and it enables us not only to see rewards, but to take action to move toward them.
Hmmm . .. that sounds as if dopamine might help me be more calm, clear and purposefully action oriented. I don’t know what that looks like to you, but to me that looks like confidence.
Of course this is only one neurotransmitter in a complicated web. Oxytocin the “cuddle hormone” also comes to play in a pleasured yoni, and Oxytocin counteracts fear and reduces high cortisol levels or stress in the body. Less fear . . . more confidence.
Can you see the picture I’m laying down here?
I’ve always contended that as women we do best work from our second chakra. Yes, this is an energetic term, and yes it’s right around and below your navel. It’s where our womb resides. It’s where creation happens,, whether it’s babies or ideas. Everything has a gestation period, and it’s great if we can relax and enjoy it. Of course gestation can be long or short. Let’s not rush it along. A half baked idea is not generally a good one.
What to do in the meantime?
Keep bathing your brain in those good feeling neurotransmitters and hormones.
How to do it though? Maybe that sounds like a silly question, because an obvious answer is to just have more sex, or to masterbate. But again, women can be more complicated than that.
What if bad sex or trauma has had you turn off your pleasure center? What if surgery or drugs have messed it up too?
Mental, emotional, physical obstacles can disallow a clear pathway that grants a full steam ahead pathway for all those yummy chemicals to do their jobs.
Try these ideas to stoke your Yoni fire:
- Ackowledge Your Yoni: How cool is it that pleasure and orgasm can so powerfully enable confidence and bliss in our bodies? Just that recognition pays attention to that force within you. And who know what may come from that awareness? Your answer may come with a whole lot more ease than you could imagine.
- Start Slow: Be patient with yourself. Maybe you’ve got a sleeping giant on your hands. (that force is greater than you imagine) So just notice what feels good. Maybe it’s simply stroking your own skin and noticing the sensation.
See A Therapist. A good one. One your resonate with. Sometimes our stories need to be told and heard by a loving witness. Sometimes we can’t make heads or tails out of the trauma we have experienced, but holding it in is generally not good for the body. In homeopathy we say, “the body needs a discharge”.
See A Healer. This may be the same as seeing a therapist. But it might not be. Sometimes words are a good discharge. Sometimes we don’t have the words to express what’s going on. So someone who does body work or energy work can help you sort out what might be going on.
Enlist Your Partner. If you have a partner who is supportive and loving, get them involved in stoking your yoni fire. And that means exactly what it says. Have more good sex. Learn some new techniques that can serve your communication. Take on a practice like Orgasmic Meditation.
Masturbate. Yes I’m pushing that envelope.Touch yourself in a way that feels good to you. Betty Dodson, author of Sex for One says this: “Masturbation is a meditation on self-love. So many of us are afflicted with self-loathing, bad body images, shame about our body functions, and confusion about sex and pleasure, I recommend an intense love affair with yourself.”
I too, recommend an intense love affair with yourself. Yourself includes your Yoni. Find a way to bring her back into the circle of your experience, and you might find that you are walking just a little bit taller, asking for what you want, being clear about what you don’t want. And that sounds like confidence to me!
Need a boost in yoni confidence? A healing elixir along the way? Try Yoni’s Bliss, a homeopathic lubricating gel inspired by women, for women. And if you are looking for deeper healing work I’d be happy to book a complimentary consult to see if we are a good fit.