So you want to transform your life. And you think coaching of some sort might be useful in that endeavor.
Yup, you are right!
The dictionary describes transformation as “a thorough or dramatic change in form appearance, nature or character”. I don’t know about you, but there have been many times that I’ve sought transformation. Sometimes I’m seeking transformation around my performance, sometimes it’s about my appearance in some way, sometimes it’s about how I feel . . . emotionally or physically.
When I was a teenager I remember one of my first desires for transformation was around having a flat belly! Little did I know that those were the “flat” years. Now I’m transforming my mind to enjoy and celebrate my body as it is! But here’s the thing, if it were a true desire, I could have that flat belly now too. Much of our transformation comes from discerning what it is that we are truly desiring. It’s about getting clarity. And if I were to look back at those teenage years what I was really seeking was acceptance of self. And that begins with me accepting me.
As a teenager I also got caught between my parents and their “stuff”. I was the oldest and somehow thought that their relationship was my responsibility. That was a set up! They were in constant disharmony, and there was nothing I could do about it. The emotional trauma of those years took some time to unwind. But unwind it did because I wanted that transformation. And I wanted it simply because I wanted to feel good.
Over the years as I’ve worked with both myself and my clients I see 4 kick ass reasons to seek transformation:
- Respond don’t React: There is nothing worse than feeling like you are in crisis mode all of the time. Your heart races, cortisol kicks in and you end up saying things that you don’t mean. Or if you do mean them, they don’t always get you what you want. It’s easy to get triggered, especially by certain people in our lives. Wouldn’t it be nice if that weren’t the case? Wouldn’t it be nice to not take anything personally? Because, guess what? It’s usually not. And because most of what’s directed towards us has nothing to do with us it feels so much better to respond with equanimity.
- Eliminate the Suffering Seeker: This may sound harsh, but I think we are programmed for doom and gloom. We seek it out in the news. We like high drama stories. We laugh at pain in “America’s Funniest Videos”. We are programmed to be both sadists and martyrs. This one is tricky because of the historically deeply embedded piety of self flagellation. But it can be done. We can transform the suffering into LOVE. And it begins by loving self.
- Remove Obstacles: As a homeopath, I’ve noticed that thoughts and the way people think about their circumstances and their life are often the biggest obstacles to their health and healing. I often say that a remedy can open the proverbial door, but we are still called to walk through it. Our relationships, our jobs. our circumstances, our dis-eases are products of our thoughts. Change the thought, remove the obstacle, watch things get better. Transformational coaching at its finest.
- Understand and Celebrate your Resourcefulness: Because transformation cannot happen without an acknowledgement of that resourcefulness. After all, here you are, alive in this body, resilient to what you have experienced in your life. Celebrate that!